I got a new job recently. I felt I needed to earn my keep to help pay the rent. I thought I'd do something medical. I thought it couldn't be that tough, eh? How wrong I was.
It was my first day. An uneventful morning was unfolding. A few appointments, a bit of a tour of the hospital, introductions. That sort of thing.
All of a sudden, in a flash of lights and wail of sirens, an ambulance speeds into the driveway. Through my office window I see a beautiful girl wheeled on a gurney into the ER. With no thought for my own personal safety I throw down my coffee cup and rush across the corridor, pushing aside my more experienced colleagues.
One thorough examination later and I was baffled. I had no idea what was wrong. Whatever should I do?
There was only one thing an unqualified medical practioner could do. The same all people everywhere would do in the same situation. The fall-back for anyone who needs an answer. Google.
Unfortunately t'internet was no help. Well over 65 billion pages and none of it any use. By now I was worried for the beautiful girl. Her condition was deteriorating. I had to act.
There was only one thing left to do....CLEAR!
Nothing. Try again....CLEAR!
Suddenly a reaction. The girl opened her eyes, looked up at me and smiled, whispering an enticing thank you. I smiled back, winked and handed her my "call me" business card.
I span round and breezed out of the emergency room, keen to find someone to clean up my coffee before it stained the polar bear rug in my office, happy in the knowledge that my medical career had begun with success. The first of many medical conundrums to be solved by Dr Marnix MD.
5 hours ago