Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Maudlinism vs pragmatism

In a comment on my last post, my good friend Quaintly wrote something about it being good to take a step back and gain some perspective. How right she is.

Last week another friend, Meara, wrote a meaningful post where she basically said we can decide which waves of emotions and feelings we choose to surf, negative or otherwise.

I think, combining those two pearls of wisdom, I have come to see that I can let recent events overtake me and leave me wallowing in my personal slough of despond or I can take the positives and continue living my sunshine-sparkled SLife. So I have chosen the latter.

I would not change the last six weeks for anything. I have made a really good friend out of hours spent together, I hope, and although things haven't worked out the way I would have hoped and certain feelings are not reciprocated I have decided it will not get me down.

Another friend told me I wear my heart on my sleeve. It has always been true. In RL as in SL. I'm not sure whether that's a strength or a weakness. Maybe it's both. What you see is what you get with me when it comes to emotions.

One thing to come out of this all, I think, is a need for a re-evaluation. I lay awake in bed last night, Mrs Marnix snuggled next to me, wondering if it was right for me to not find comfort in her for rejection felt in SL. And if it is right for me to be grumpy all evening with her because of news I receive in SL. I don't think it is. So for now, at least, my focus is going to be on friends and fun and community. Companionship can sit on the back burner. At least for now. Of course I give you all full permission right now to say "but you said..." to me next time I fall head over heels for someone.

The other week, when I was seriously thinking of moving on, I was thinking about how many people in SL I would need, or want, to tell I was going. The number I reached was four. Maybe five. I am determined now to expand that number.

An issue I have had for a while is my timezone. It just is really not conducive to meeting people in SL. Or at least not people who are around consistently at the same time as me. I am totally wrong for Europe and pretty much most of the US too. At least the west coast of the States are so far behind me they're almost back round to where I am again giving us a smidgin of overlap, I guess. Bottom line - I need to meet Kiwis. East coast Aussies too, I guess, but more Kiwis. There have to be more of us in this timezone in SL, right? So where are they all hiding? If you know any nice friendly Kiwis point them in my direction, yeah?


  1. I've had the same problem forever - that of meeting people in or close to my time zone. I need to meet more Aussies, that's for sure :p I blogged it too, somewhere in my archives. Nothing came out of that, lol!

    Glad you're not letting recent events get you down. Friends & fun & community sounds great. I think that's what we all do, without even knowing it ;)

  2. Just wait til the pacific Daylight Savings in a couple of weeks. It gets WORSE.

  3. "Mrs Marnix snuggled next to me, wondering if it was right for me to not find comfort in her for rejection felt in SL"

    My husband has suffered my worst (moody) and best (detached from RL) moments at SL, but he also enjoys a happier, naughtier wife that loves him madly... and often *winks*.

    I don't say that this applies to everybody who is RL married, but I think that SL relations make me better, wholer, and if you are careful and happy at SL the main RL effect should be possitive...

    ... but of course being happy at SL is a whole different, harder issue *sighs*.

  4. Dude, you put a bunch of chickens in a giant boat and set them all on fire!

    *yells, "CHICKEN KARMA IS A BITCH!" and runs like hell*

    Kidding. I have no clue what's going on in your SLife because I'm just your weird next-door neighbor, but I'm sorry you're hurting. Be grateful that you do have a Mrs. Marnix and cherish her though. I'm not lecturing. I'm just sayin'

    I keep returning to that chicken execution story and laughing my arse off every time, so kudos to writing the funniest damn SL blog post I seriously think I've ever read.

  5. And now a triceratops, Em?!?
    Right, that's it. I'm moving...

    Oh, and my (main) aim is to make people smile so I am happy I managed it with you :)


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